Sex vs. Dating



Georgie Hunt

Sex and Dating – the infamous couple! Some would say their relationship is meant to be. They live in complete harmony, and nothing could ever come between them. I am not writing this week to argue that Sex is better suited for Dating’s older brother, Marriage. With enough emotional security in the mix, Sex and Dating go together just fine, but maybe high school and college years are too young for Sex and Dating to be so seriously involved.

The relationship between Sex and Dating is nothing new. They have been together for a long time and have reached such an exclusive status that one has come to imply the other. Sex involves Dating, and Dating entails Sex. I do not want to gossip, but as faithful and blissful as their relationship may appear, it is a fact that Sex has been known to hook up with Fling, One Night Stand, Mistake and even Drunken Stupor. It happens all the time. If Sex can go her own way and leave Dating behind, is it possible for Dating to do the same, or has Dating become so obsessed with Sex that he would cease to exist without her? In high school and college relationships in the year 2007, has it become impossible to separate the terms and just date, no sex attached?

I can hear my readers’ responses to my posed questions like little voices in my head. Of course it is possible to date without sex, the world’s college students suppose, but what unhappiness! What emptiness! What dissatisfaction! The little voices get louder as the protest rises in insistence. Be quiet! There is no need to yell and scream at me.

The problem with the relationship between Sex and Dating lies in the phrase my mom told me when I started hanging out with the crowd that listened to the Spice Girls: “You are the company you keep.” If Dating is always with Sex, then, rightfully or wrongfully, Dating inevitably adopts Sex’s reputation. High school and college students should date, and they should date a lot. It is one of the healthiest activities in which they can involve themselves, but if dating loses its identity to sex, then entire high schools and freshman dorms end up sleeping together. A lot of dating, that which should be a celebrated in abundance, becomes notoriously scandalous rather than healthy. In the year 2007, if you date a lot, according to the practices that dating these days entails, you are most likely to end up quite miserably unhealthy. Never mind sores and rashes; I’m mainly concerned with emotional pain.

Not everyone can figure out when he or she is ready for sex or with whom it would be right to have it. The choice comes down to more little voices in our heads, some of which are appreciated like beautiful butterflies that land on our shoulders, while others are swatted away as though they were one of those exasperating mammoth flies buzzing in our ears. It is the feeling we wake up with that tells us whether or not we were in fact ready. I always thought it was by dating that we figured out whether or not someone was special enough. If sex is always a part of the dating process, there is no way to distinguish who’s special from who’s not. The point of dating is destroyed.

Open relationships are lousy for humans, but maybe they are suitable for our terms. If Sex can go with others, then there is no reason why Dating should not ignore Sex for Kissing, Cuddling and Making Out. Until Dating is certain, they’re just as fun.


Georgie Hunt is a junior English major from Pomfret, Conn. She can be reached at [email protected].