The WiseCat
November 14, 2007
Dear WiseCat, I am interested in this guy, and we have kind of been “hook-up buddies” lately. But all of a sudden he is starting to hook up with another girl as well. What should I do? Is this okay?Sincerely, Life is Chaos
Dear Life is Chaos,Are you really going to subject yourself to this behavior? Are you really going to be that girl? Let’s play this out for a second. What you’re asking is: is it okay if he comes to hang out and hook up with you, whisper sweet nothings in your ear and leave you the next minute because he has to go and visit the other girl and do the same thing with her. When I repeat that back to you, does that make you feel just a little bit weird inside? Possibly a feeling that you are being used? I sure hope so! Whether he likes you or not, he is using you for pure sexual gain. You’re an object at this point. Advice would be to step back and let him stumble over his own feet – no worries. Without fail, he will. He doesn’t understand the effects of his actions and how he could possibly be hurting you. His male ego is masking the real emotions. Pick apart his actions. Sure, he could really just be doing this because he wants a quick hook up. But like any girl would do, we think deeper. To us, there is a bigger picture. He’s doing this possibly because he is guilty for some reason or maybe because he was hurt a couple of times before. This is therapy to him. And you, you’re just the innocent bystander. He really means no harm, I’m sure he is just trying to find his path in the “romantic world.” But you can’t be that person, the puppet of his romantic escapades.Now, this is where I call in my girl, Colbie Caillet. Listen to her, she has a lot to say. In her recent hit “Bubbly,” she starts the song with the line, “Will you count me in?” Most people may think she is asking her band to count her into the song. But what about the rest of us? What if she is really asking will you count me in, as in will you count me in your life? Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely love this song, but who in their right mind is going to wait around for someone to count them in? When in this case, he’s counting in more than one person. Are we desperate? No! Do we wish that Colbie didn’t have to ask to count her in? Yes! So don’t ask him to count you in. If he doesn’t have the common decency to realize that you are fab, then tell him to get out! Message of the year: think before you act. Let others know how you feel, and never compromise your morals for someone else. You are who you are; if he thinks he needs to go elsewhere for more satisfaction, then I say, find a curb and kick him to it.