The WiseCat

Tina Lamsback

Dear WiseCat,

One of my friend’s New Years resolutions is to fall in love. Is that really a resolution? Is this something you control?


Hoping He Does

Dear Hoping He Does,

Resolutions are hard to keep in general, but when we make a resolution like falling in love, we just get ourselves into trouble. First of all, who makes a resolution like that? Resolutions are made to resolve an issue from the previous year, but I don’t really see how making a resolution to fall in love resolves a current issue. I suppose the current issue could be that many people in their early 20s feel the need to start planning for their possible future filled with wedded bliss. All of a sudden, people get this idea that they are supposed to be having their first date by age X, fall head over heels for someone by age Y and then married by age Z. But what gives us this timeline? What makes us think that we have the authority to set these standards? Shouldn’t we leave that up to fate?

Recess, pigtails and pink described little girl’s youth. Between the ages of five and 10 Disney adorned the television screens of many. Jasmine, Belle and Cinderella danced through the heads of young girls who watched these movies imagining themselves as the little princesses. Is there anything wrong with that? No. Take it from little Sara Crewe in “A Little Princess” when she says, “I am a princess. All girls are.” True statement, but is any of this thought process reality? I like Disney movies, but I don’t love them. Does that mean I was robbed of my childhood, if I’m not in love with cartoon characters? No. It just means I am a realist. Who wouldn’t want to be swept up by her Prince Charming? I would.

But let’s be serious, is my Prince Charming really going to find my Manolo Blahnik size eight shoe on Dougherty Drive and whisk me away? Probably not, although that would be a great story. What I really don’t understand is why we have to wait for him or her. I was talking to a friend the other day, and he said, “I’m tired of waiting. I’m holding auditions and if anyone wants to show up, then I’ll be there.” Maybe Disney makes us think that we can have the most perfect person in the world, whether it be romantically or even just a friend, only to possibly let us down in the process. Clearly this is all a learning experience, but when can we stop holding auditions and start saying you got the part?

What Disney never tells us is that not everything is perfect. Have you ever noticed that everything always works out for the main characters? It is almost as if we have been robbed from ever knowing the bad – robbed from knowing the reality that not everything works out. Who is going to teach us that there is a downside in the relationship world? Friends aren’t always who they seem to be and life is one big learning experience. I’m sure they allude to this factor, but they should just throw it in our faces. We can take it.

When is there going to be a Disney movie where we learn about the bad part of relationships? Granted seven-year olds don’t need to learn about cheating at that age, but if we had some kind of hint about how to deal with the unpleasant parts of relationships, the world might be filled with a little less chaos.

In the end, if your friend wants to make a resolution about falling in love, make sure they know life may not follow his plan. So in this crazy world that we live in, I say, why not take the chances, learn from our experiences and hope that it all works out.