Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)Remember spring break? Yeah, the stars didn’t think you did. Have fun this week as all of your friends inform you of your ridiculous behavior … and present you with the photographic evidence as well.

Aries (March 21-April 19)You will find yourself in a very awkward situation when you show up at a restaurant to meet a friend – someone you tell the waiter is a really, really close friend of yours. When your friend is a no-show, you’ll grab your cell phone, only to realize you don’t actually have her number. Maybe you aren’t such close friends after all.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)Still struggling to get back into the swing of classes after sleeping 19 hours each day over break? Well, console yourself with the fact that a week from today, you’ll be back on vacation and can try to top your record for consecutive hours slept.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)Today, you will start your St. Patty’s Day celebrations early by donning green from head to toe – and it goes unsaid that shamrock sunglasses are a must.

Cancer (Jun 22-July 22)Work on increasing your vocabulary. This week’s word is palaver. Look it up.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)Spending all of your spring break looking at bumper stickers on Facebook was not a good use of your time. Welcome back to the real world that cannot be summed up in witty phrases.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)Did you forget to pack something for your spring break trip to Mexico? Yeah, sun block would have been helpful. Hope you like the nickname “Rudolph” because that’s what everyone will call you.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)Maybe you should have double checked your flight reservations before you boarded the plane. Ending up in Oregon when you thought you were headed for Hawaii made for a break filled with less sunshine and more rain.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)Be very careful when you head to the gym; distractions lie everywhere. That cute girl who walks past your treadmill will be your downfall – literally – when your mind forgets to keep your legs going and the treadmill flings you across the gym.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)This St. Patrick’s Day, you will finally find it – the pot of gold you’ve been searching for since you were a child. Unfortunately, there will be a leprechaun standing guard over it, and you will run away as fast as your legs can carry you.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)While choosing to not use your computer during all of break was an admirable goal, it definitely backfired when you logged back in to find 164 unread messages.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)You will relive a childhood joy when you play “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” at your little cousin’s birthday party. However, joy will turn to sorrow when you get completely shown up by a group of 4-year-olds.