Aries (March 21-April 19)Remember when your parents used to do “bring your child to work” days with you? Repay the favor by having a “bring your parents to college” weekend. That should create some interesting stories for the next family gathering.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)There’s only 78 days until the first official day of summer! Celebrate by having a beach party, but – as appealing as the idea sounds – don’t fill your room with sand. That will just be one gross mess.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)Whether or not you cut your hair is not as big a decision as you’re making it out to be. Save the mental breakdown for finals week.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)Here’s some advice for the next time you travel by plane: avoid airport food. You don’t want to be the person who passes out mid-flight – in the tiny plane bathroom.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Mastering “Rock Band” on expert does not actually make you a rock star, so please stop singing 24/7 as if you were one.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)When pulling that all-nighter, resist the temptation to down an entire bottle of Mountain Dew. When you can’t sit still for a week, don’t say the stars didn’t warn you.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)After partying this weekend, be very careful where you fall asleep. If not, you might wake up in the back of a garbage truck.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)Your friendly game of wiffleball will quickly develop into an intense battle. Who knew such a simple game could bring good friends to blows?
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)After watching the parade of elephants in Washington D.C., you will decide to organize one here at ‘Nova. Good luck trying to squeeze that herd past the Oreo.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)This weekend you will find your new calling in life: furniture delivery person.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)A piece of advice: don’t take a nap right before your registration time. An alarm clock low on batteries could land you in those dreaded 8:30 a.m. classes next fall.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)Deciding to spice up your room décor by buying a gong will end up being a horrible decision. Your roommate will get carried away and decide to hit it every five minutes, driving you absolutely insane.