My fellow Villanovans, you need to learn how to drive. In particular, your parking lot driving skills are lacking. I’m speaking, of course, of Main Lot. I must say, you Main Lot drivers have got some problems.

Take, for example, the narrow turns at the far ends of the lot closest to Lancaster. There’s barely enough room for two cars to pass each other here, especially if the one on the outside is taking the turn sharply. Not long ago, I was searching for a parking space when I found myself held up at one of these corners. A girl had come flying up to the turn, probably at about 20 miles per hour. I believe she was driving a Mercedes SUV or something similar.

She had to slam on her brakes because someone else was taking the turn from the other direction. She then beeped her horn and yelled out the window, as if she weren’t at fault. I really wanted to slash her tires, or something.

Another example: the exit from Main Lot onto Ithan Avenue. It’s hard to see as you’re pulling out because of the bushes on either side. Plus, the cars coming from either direction are going fast, especially if they’re going downhill toward South. Just last week, I made a left out of the lot after looking both directions.

Next thing I know, a guy is riding on my bumper, probably less than a foot away, laying on his horn. I drive up to the light – which was red – at normal speed, and he makes sure to stay inches from my bumper. We then turn right onto Lancaster, and he floors it past me, screeching his tires and giving me the finger through his rear windshield. I can’t say for sure whether he was a student, of course, but coincidentally, he was also driving a Mercedes.

Then there are the aisles in the lot itself. These, of course, are very long, and it’s possible to get up some speed as you’re driving along. I regularly see people going down these aisles at 25-30 miles per hour when the lot is completely packed with cars. At other times, I see people pull out of spaces into the aisles very quickly, without looking at all. I bet you can figure out what would happen if both of these drivers were in the same aisle at the same time. Apparently people just don’t have the time to go 15 mph instead of 30.

One other thing that can be a problem: I parked in the row of spaces nearest Ithan, right up against the gate. While I was in class, someone decided to park in the fire lane behind me.

Backing out, I literally had about a foot of room to work with in getting my car out of there. I had to switch between first and reverse about 10 times. I doubt my clutch appreciated that.

I am surprised that I have not seen any accidents in Main Lot. It’s too bad that when you take your driving test, they don’t make you drive through parking lots. At least, they didn’t do that with me. It definitely would have helped some of you.

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Ian Deitz is a senior political science major from Gettysburg, Pa. He can be reached at [email protected].