Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)Congratulations on making it to your 8:30 a.m. (and 1:30 p.m.) classes on time for the whole first week and a half. Too bad that streak is over.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)When trying to come up with a name for your contraband pet fish, it might be a good idea to not have the possible list on your white board for everyone to vote, including your RA.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)Driscoll Hall may be the nicest building on campus, but that doesn’t mean that every student needs to spend every free moment trying to infiltrate. Business students can go back to Bartley; leave Driscoll to the students stuck in older buildings.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)When making a web of the hookups that have already happened in your residence hall, remember that not everyone may consider having the most lines coming from your name to be winning.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)When you’re at a restaurant this weekend, order the item on the menu you can’t identify or pronounce; it is likely to be the best thing there.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)While it is tempting to throw parties for different seasons, that “Christmas in September” party in the Quad was probably a poor choice – heat stroke is definitely not hot.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)You forgot to hand in your prospective graduate form. Good thing your internship this summer earned you lots of money to pay for next year’s tuition – too bad you already spent it on take-out and room decorations.

Aries (March 21-April 19)Stop doing the bugaloo around campus. That’s pretty much only entertaining during Orientation.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)The stars know you’re excited about your cousin getting married, but a family wedding is not the time to break out that dress with no back and decorative holes on the stomach – even if the dress is fabulous.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)Shocked by the utilities bill from August? Try a flashback to your year in the Quad and turn down your air conditioning.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)It is understandable that you’re not unpacked yet from your weekend trip to the shore, but it’s probably time to finish unpacking from move-in.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)This is not “Zoolander,” and the style is not derelict. Just ask someone how to do laundry; it’s not that embarrassing.