As Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Mary begin to prepare your family’s Thanksgiving eat-a-thon, many of us will spend countless hours at the Davis Center, preparing our bodies for the calorie invasion that simply cannot be avoided.

Like you and your family’s Thanksgiving tradition, we here at The Villanovan have our own. We have our own holiday feast, and we invite some of our closest friends. Here is who will be coming to our feast this year and what they will be so graciously bringing.

Turkey: The main course this year will be brought by none other than the king of all turkeys, Terrell Owens. Hopefully Owens will keep his mouth full of food at the dinner table, as he has a penchant for talking too much. His mouth has landed this bird in deep trouble in San Francisco, Philadelphia and now Dallas. Let’s just hope this Thanksgiving turkey doesn’t do touchdown dances, too.

Gravy: Who knows more about gravy than our very own Villanova guard Scottie Reynolds? When No. 1 gets on a roll, it’s all gravy. Reynolds has already surpassed the 1,000-point scoring milestone and is just in the infancy of his junior campaign. Much is expected from this mature guard if ‘Nova wants to reach that next level.

Stuffing: This side dish will be brought by Villanova football run-stuffers Greg Miller and David Dalessandro. The two defensive ends have anchored the Villanova run defense all season and are a huge reason why Villanova’s 89.2 rushing yards against per game ranks first in the entire CAA. Let’s hope these two remember the recipe for their stuffing in the FCS playoffs.

Rolls: Prince Fielder will do the honors of bringing his rolls to the dinner table. The young slugging first baseman from Milwaukee tips the scales at 270 pounds and is a shade under 6 feet tall. Fielder’s athleticism is unmatched by any man of his size. We won’t have to worry about him hogging the turkey because this all-star is a vegetarian.

Nuts: This appetizer will be brought by Chicago White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen. The Sox skipper obviously knows a thing or two about going nuts. TV censors have their hands full at most Guillen press conferences, and one can only imagine what his clubhouse addresses sound like. If Guillen chooses not to attend, we plan on asking John Gruden, the head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, to replace him.

Green Beans: This tall, thin vegetable will be brought by none other than Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder. The skinny second-year small forward out of the University of Texas is coming into his own in Oklahoma City. After winning the AP NCAA Player of the Year Award and the NBA Rookie of the Year Award, an MVP could someday be in his future. That is, if he ever would eat a few Thanksgiving dinners to add some much-needed poundage.

Mashed Potatoes: Philadelphia Eagles safety Brian Dawkins will bring his own mashed potato recipe to dinner next week. Apparently the infamous masher of opposing jerseys stacks raw potatoes 10 high in the air and repeatedly mashes the spuds until they are a delicious treat. Dawkins will have to eat quickly, as his Eagles will take on defensive end Bertrand Berry and the Arizona Cardinals on Thanksgiving night.

Three-Bean Casserole: Who better to bring this tasty treat than the king of all things 3, Villanova sophomore guard Corey Stokes. Stokes struggled to find the range early on in his freshman campaign, but by the end of the season, it seemed like every shot he took from downtown was good. If ‘Nova has aspirations of a Big East Championship this season, Stokes will have to loom large at the 3-point arc.

Cheesecake: Our first dessert dish will be brought by a man who throws cheese for a living: former Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim closer (and now free agent) Francisco Rodriguez. Anchoring the back of Los Angeles’ bull-pen, K-Rod set a new major league record with 62 saves in the ’08 season. As free agency rolls on, it will be interesting to see if the all star gets swept up before our Thanksgiving holiday.

Pumpkin Pie: This sweet dessert will accompany Calgary Flames forward Jarome Iginla. Iginla, who currently ranks fourth in points in the NHL, has one of the sweetest wrist-shots in the league. The 31-year-old has averaged 38 goals per year for the last nine seasons. Iginla gives the Flames a legitimate shot at winning the Northwest division and going deep into the Stanley Cup playoffs this season.

Pound Cake: The final dessert on the table will be brought by the Ring Magazine Light Heavyweight Champion, boxer Joe Calzaghe. Undefeated in 46 fights, “The Pride of Wales” pounded U.S. boxing star Roy Jones Jr. in a 12-round decision a few weeks ago. The 36-year-old champ also defeated Bernard “The Executioner” Hopkins in April and hopes to remain undefeated.

Our Villanovan dinner table is officially complete. After we find Father Peter to say the blessing, we will be able to dig into this year’s Thanksgiving feast.

———————-

Justin DiBiase is a senior civil engineering major from Franklinville, N.J. He can be reached at [email protected].