Walter Smith Randolph

I, for one, am so glad that the 2008 Presidential Election has come to a close. Don’t get me wrong – I’m as interested in politics and the progress of our country as the next guy, but I was pretty tired of the media stalking the candidates. If I heard the word “change” or “maverick” one more time, I might have thrown my TV off the roof of Tolentine.

It seemed as though Americans were obsessed with every move the candidates made, as evidenced by the numerous variations of Sarah Palin costumes for Halloween. Every time you turned on a news station, there was a new story about the candidates. I don’t think it would have been surprising for CNN to report “McCain tied his shoe today” or FOX to report “Obama made an illegal right on red.” Regardless, of who you supported or who you “simply didn’t trust,” everyone became a die-hard American … until it looked like their candidate was going to lose.

Once the opinion polls started favoring the opposing candidate, there was one comment that was the biggest buzz kill of the entire electoral process: “If McCain/Obama wins, I’m moving to Canada!” I just wanted to respond, “Really? You’re moving to Canada? Do you need a ride to the airport? Because I’ll drop you off.”

That comment just doesn’t make any sense. Canada and most of the European countries have the same issues, often to a greater extent than America. Plus, no one is actually going to move to another country for four or eight years, regardless of who is running our country. What happened to “Country first” or ” I pledge allegiance to the flag”? Allegiance? That sure went out the door fast.

Plus, do you think another country actually wants you? I don’t think so. Do you think when Europeans get upset about the economy, they threaten to move to the United States? I don’t think so – not going to happen. But, I guess since you are so dedicated to your morals and your country, it only makes sense to flee the country that you love so much.

In reality, “I’m moving to Canada” sounds more like “I’m upset and I need some attention.” It doesn’t work. Show up to the border in a parka and say “Eh,” and people are going to look at you like you’re dumb. Also, if you plan on moving you better learn the metric system quickly.

But, don’t worry … I’m running rides from Pike to the airport on Saturday for anyone who wants to defect.