Horoscopes
February 11, 2009
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Let love come to you. Don’t stalk it.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
You will have a Valentine this year, but the stars can’t promise that it won’t be your mom.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Try not to be too mortified when you get a singing Valentine on Friday.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Love is in the air, and you feel the need to book your wedding at the St. Thomas of Villanova Church. But the stars think that you should find a significant other first.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
It’s never too early to give your significant other a nickname. The stars recommend animal-themed ones.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Don’t get discouraged on Valentine’s Day and join an online dating service. The stars think there are better options.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Be careful what you wish for, single ladies. He might just “put a ring on it.”
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Keep an open mind. That nerd in your ACS class might actually be your soulmate.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to have a significant other to enjoy Valentine’s Day. Celebrate your individualism.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
If the recession has had a negative impact on your finances, save money by breaking up with your significant other before Valentine’s Day.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Forego the traditional romantic comedies and spend the night watching romance-killers “Revolutionary Road” and “My Bloody Valentine 3D.”
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
The stars predict that your sweetheart will enjoy your gift of a mixtape on Saturday. No one takes the time to record music from the radio to a cassette tape anymore.