Horoscopes
March 17, 2009
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Wearing flannel does not make you a hipster. Especially if it’s from American Eagle.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
In all the madness of March, don’t neglect the WWE’s Wrestlemania.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
In this economy, half-price Broadway tickets are in abundance. Make a weekend of it and take a trip to New York. The stars recommend “The Little Mermaid” and “Mary Poppins.”
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
The stars suggest using the phrase “doin’ it.” It’s this season’s “that’s hot.”
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Don’t let your age or the twenty-dollar price tag keep you from seeing the Jonas Brothers 3D concert in theaters. It’s not just a movie, it’s an experience.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Just because you may look like C-3PO in those gold leggings from American Apparel, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy them. You’re sure to be all the rage at your next party.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Retire your Coldplay CD and refer to an alternate British group. The stars suggest Five. You know you still secretly dream about raging in a bowling alley “When the Lights Go Out.”
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Ditch the St. Patrick’s Day green. Start wearing purple.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Compliment your love interest on their eyebrows. It works for Joe Jonas.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Just because they’re serving free food does not mean you should crash a convention. Wedding crashers are okay. Convention crashers are never welcome.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
When in doubt, buy that outrageous hoodie from H&M. You will be thankful when you’re raving in the Arctic.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Despite what T-Pain says, not everything can be blamed on the ah- ah- ah- ah- ah- alcohol.